


Doubting Nags

by AlgaeNymph



Category: Touhou Project
Genre: Dialogue Heavy, Gen, General fiction, Literature
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-29
Updated: 2015-05-29
Packaged: 2018-04-01 18:20:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,080
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4029946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlgaeNymph/pseuds/AlgaeNymph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kasen stops by to lecture Reimu yet again.  Reimu's had enough, and Kasen explains her reasons for visiting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Doubting Nags

    It was a bright and sunny day at the Hakurei shrine. Reimu hated it: it showed off how worn her shrine was, it made her feel exposed. Normally, she could compensate by going inside and reading the newspaper while enjoying her tea (heavily-sweetened in defiance of proper custom). Problem was, she already did that today.

    She could go visit the Human Village, but she already shopped there yesterday, and a job gone bad a few days ago made her really want to take a break from the place -- and her job in general.

    Also, she couldn't just go inside since she had a visitor. Such were either highly welcome (as highly as Reimu welcomed anyone), or best dealt with quickly.

    Kasen, hermit and self-appointed moral authority, was most definitely the latter.

    Kasen was nagging her yet again, and it was the same thing often enough that Reimu felt she needn't listen. Stop being lazy. Work more. Don't be so greedy. Be a better person. Work work work give give give. Arms crossed, save when she was pointing that damned bandaged finger accusingly. All because Reimu got mad at a client who kept important details from her, resulting in Reimu _still_ being sore enough to limp. At least her whole body wasn't hurting anymore, just her leg.

    And she was was sick of it, enough to pick up her gohei, stand up from the shrine entrance way she was otherwise moping in -- wincing at the pressure on her bad leg, and tell Kasen-

    "Shut. Up."

    Kasen was stunned, but for just a moment. "Care to explain yourself?"

    "Gladly," Reimu said, putting her free hand on her hip. "You know I invented the Spell Card Rules, but do you know what that actually means?"

    "Of course I do, it means that youkai can fulfill their roles without harming humans, and that humans can defend themselves against even the most powerful youkai without fear of death," Kasen said, holding up her fingers at each benefit.

    "Not to mention that natives to Gensokyo are off-limits for eating, and that youkai are more interested in doing business with humans than eating them." Reimu leaned forward. "Sounds like a very praiseworthy accomplishment, doesn't it?"

    "I see where you're going with this," Kasen said. “You're wanting praise for what is expected of you?"

    Reimu spread her arms in frustration. "How is that so bad!? Is there something wrong for wanting to be appreciated for SAVING PEOPLE'S LIVES?! What _more_ do you want me to _do?_ "

    Kasen paused bit while Reimu waited, glaring at her, hand on hip, gohei at the ready. "Your problem is your attitude," Kasen said, intensifying Reimu's glare from 'annoyed' to 'angry'. "Your role is to serve, as your ancestors have done for generations. By acting selfishly, you are showing that you don't care for others."

    " _Why_ should I care about ingrates?" Reimu said.

    "Because people with a duty, such as yourself, should care about _that_ ," Kasen said, emphasizing her point with a pointing finger, "rather than what they can get out of it."

    "So in other words, _fuck me_ because I happened to be born a Hakurei and not someone else. Is that what you're saying?" Reimu said, casually waving her gohei.

    Kasen sighed, closing her eyes, rubbing a temple with one hand. "Perhaps you were so selfish in a past life that you were literally born to serve as atonement," she said.

    "Or maybe I was just some mizuko who wanted a mother!" Reimu said. "Or maybe I just got sick of being in the Yama's robes all day listening to her lecture people. Maybe I should've _stayed_ there; she lectures everyone equally, rather than singling me out like you do."

    "I'm not here to persecute you-"

    " _Really?_ Not even with that crack about past lives? Even if I am supposed to atone for my past life, _how am I supposed to fix my mistakes if I don't even know what I did wrong?_ "

    "By observing the role you were born in and doing your best to achieve social harmony," Kasen said, her tone conveying that this should be obvious.

    "Yeah, yeah" Reimu said, rolling her eyes; "maiden, mother, matron, part of a greater whole, so on and so forth. Thing is, my mom's gone, so's the rest of my family, Genji's more of an adviser, and the closest thing I have to a matron is pretty hands-off unless she wants something. Come to think of it, _she_ treats me better than you do."

    "Still, your exceptional circumstances don't excuse you from working toward achieving social harmony."

    "You keep using that phrase like it's something desirable. Let me tell you what it really means," Reimu said, pointing her free finger at Kasen. "A few days ago, I got hired to do the dirty work of a domestic dispute."

    "I already know this," Kasen said, her arms crossed again, "your conduct was the reason I came here."

    "So you _approve_ of a crying mother being dragged back to a group of people who thought of her as more of a possession than, you know, a _person_?" Reimu said, leaning forward.

    "Honestly, I think everyone was wrong here," Kasen said. "The mother shouldn't have had an affair with a youkai, the family should have reached out to her first, and you should have held to your deal or at least resolved the situation more diplomatically."

    "Yeah, I know exactly what you'd do" Reimu said, nodding: "you would have left the mother alone at the Myouren Temple, asked the family to get back together, and rub my face in how _so much better at everything you are!_ "

    "You really shouldn't take my criticism so personally-"

    " _All your criticism is personal!_ You know what the townsfolk would've said if I did it your way? They would've called me lazy, _again._ Youkai extermination is _all I have._ I could try being a proper shrine maiden, except that nobody comes to see me, and you never approve of any event ideas I have. That's just me being _greedy_ and _lazy_ again."

    "Reimu, you're ranting," Kasen said. "Where are you going with this?"

    "It's not **fair.** As far I can tell, I'm cursed to never succeed. Even worse, I get _you_ always telling me how I'm _never good enough._ All social harmony cares about is _roles_ , it doesn't care a damn thing about _individuals!_ And _clever you_ for picking a role where you can do whatever you like!"

    Kasen looked aside. "You're focusing on what you _don't_ have rather than what you _do_ ," Kasen said.

    "By your logic, I should tell a rich person on fire to focus on _how good they have it_ otherwise!" Reimu said. "I focus on problems because that's what needs solving."

    "What you consider problems are just selfish perceptions of your-"

    "SELFISHNESS IS NOT A BAD THING WHEN I WANT TO BE FAIRLY REWARDED FOR MY EFFORT!"

    The faint sounds of fairies screaming were heard in the distance.

    Kasen, more than anyone else, had reason to fear the Wrath of the Hakurei. "There's no need to yell, Reimu," Kasen said, her tone expressing concern, for both her and Reimu's well being.

    "There is! I brought peace to Gensokyo and I don't even get thanks for it."

    "That's not true," Kasen said. "The youkai are certainly thankful."

    "They could show it a bit more," Raimu said, patting her donation box.

    Kasen said nothing at this, instead just looking at Reimu while carefully choosing her next words. Reimu continued to glare, but the intensity lowered from 'hateful' to 'steady'.

    After the long pause, Kasen spoke.

    "Why haven't you moved in with the Scarlet or Myourenji clans?"

    "What are you getting at?" Reimu said, quirking an eyebrow.

    "You've strongly expressed a desire for thanks, which you _do_ receive, but the actions I scold you most on are your constant soliciting for donations, suggesting greed as a primary desire," Kasen said, finger upraised in full lecture mode. Reimu's glare went back to 'angry' again. "However, I've noticed two groups that have taken an interest in you. They're both wealthy, and I've found sufficient evidence that they'll take care of you, and lavishly at that. Ironic given your past -- and recent -- actions towards the-"

    Reimu just closed her eyes and started chuckling.

    "That's a different reaction," Kasen said, eyes widening in surprise, "I must be making progress."

    "Or Cirno really did get Utsuho to work on her 'cold fusion' project," Reimu said. Kasen just looked a bit confused at the reference. "Yeah, I'm not living with Remilia or Byakuren because they're not offering for _me_. Remilia just lusts after me, and I wouldn't put it past her to try and use me to try to take over Gensokyo for...whatever reason. Just because she can, most likely. Also, I'm never getting in a swimming pool with her."

    "Why's that?"

    "Because I saw her use some sort of blood magic to turn the water into naughty tentacles," Reimu said, wincing, "that's why. Typical of Gensokyo's mock kidnappings, and it technically wasn't a kidnapping or even non-consensual -- and I'm _still_ expected to resolve that sort of thing. Do you have any idea how much goes on that nobody talks about because of stupid social taboos?"

    "I'm...starting to," Kasen said, looking aside. "Moving along, you'd surely find Byakuren far less selfish, or perverted."

    "No, she's not selfish, and I suppose she's _technically_ less perverted," Kasen quirked an eyebrow at that, "But let's focus on the problem instead," Reimu said. Kasen nodded in relief. "I join her and I get _absorbed_ by her. Yeah, she'll do everything to make my stay pleasant, and I've found myself tempted, but I join her and nothing I do will be _mine_ , understand?"

    "Not really," Kasen said, "she's...notoriously lax with her followers."

    "The same followers who get this _look_ whenever she's brought up in conversation, or when she says something in that...voice of hers, or just when she looks at them!" Reimu said.

    "Nazrin and Mamizou seem unaffected," Kasen said.

    "Oh, they're affected, not emotionally but intellectually," Reimu said; "they like being part of something big, and I just _know_ Byakuren has plans to take over Gensokyo."

    Kasen face-palmed. "Now you're just being paranoid."

    "Am I?! She doesn't just want humans and youkai to tolerate each other but to accept each other. For a nun, she sure does love human/youkai trysts -- and defending them." Reimu said, patting her bad leg. "Speaking of which, her lover's the avatar of a _war god_ , so you _know_ she's getting conquest advice on a regular basis. And she doesn't just have her pet tiger or even her earlier followers helping her. Oh no, that'd be too easy for me. Three of her new followers are good enough at danmaku to slow me down-"

    Kasen held up a hand. "I apologize for interrupting but you did defeat all of clan Myourenji at once a few days ago."

    Reimu motioned at her leg with her free hand.  "And my leg's still fucking sore.  And even if I did things your way, which I just might do next time -- for _my_ sake rather than any greater good -- there's no denying that Byakuren's danmaku prodigies have useful abilities outside of a spell card duel. In particular, they all make very good spies, and one of them has her own damn network. Put that together with all of them working together -- again, avatar of a war god and all -- and the sheer _number_ of youkai followers and her faction's about as powerful as two of the others put together."

    "Her followers are also notoriously undisciplined," Kasen said.

    "That never stopped powerful magicians like her before, and I speak from experience here," Reimu said. "They're always up to some sort of weird shit best left alone."

    "I find that rather ironic given your current relationship-"

    "Leave Marisa out of this. The point is, I join her and it'll be all about _her_ : _her_ cult, _her_ plans, everything," Reimu said. "Besides, if her plans are _so wonderful_ then you'd have already joined and insist I'd do the same."

    "I don't believe she wants to do more than change the nature of youkai," Kasen said, "nor do I think her goals are problematic. The fact you were tempted to join, and your invention of the Spell Card rules to begin with, suggests that you feel likewise."

    Reimu put her free hand back on her hip and leaned forward again. "You're still not answering why you're not there already if it's such a good thing."

    Kasen fidgeted. "...Personal reasons," she said.

    "Yeah, _I_ give an answer like that and you'd just tell me to get over it and be a better person or talk down to me somehow, but it's okay when _you've_ got 'personal reasons.' Suika's been telling me all about _those._ "

    Kasen's eyes widened in shock. "Please don't spread any rumors."

    "Why would I?"

    "Well...to get back at me."

    "I'll do it _my_ way if I decide to get back at you. In fact," Reimu said, sneering, "maybe that brutal honesty of mine is why you can't stay away from me."

    "Yes...it's good to see you don't feel I'm persecuting you anymore," Kasen said, desperately trying to change the subject.

    "Oh, thanks for reminding me!" Reimu said with mock cheer. "Tell me: you don't have any problem with Byakuren, she'd probably _love_ you as an example to youkai, and the ones at her temple _so_ need discipline. That looks like just the sort of place where'd you go to bother everyone. So why aren't you there now?"

    "Because I feel that my goals differ enough that I'm better working alone," Kasen said.

    "Yeah, me too," Reimu said, crossing her arms; "that's why I'm not joining her."

    Kasen cocked her head. "So it's not all about the donations then?" she said.

    Reimu took a deep breath and went right back to glaring. "Okay, let me get this through your thick skull. And I know it literally is, by the way," Reimu said, to Kasen's obvious discomfort. "Donations are how people show they’re grateful, because talk is cheap."

    Kasen sighed. "If people are expressing gratitude because they're being pressured to rather than on their own," she said, "then they're not truly expressing gratitude, they're just going through the motions."

    "And that would still be more than I'm getting," Reimu said, "and it'd be less hurtful then their genuine words...or _yours._ "

    Kasen closed her eyes. "I see we won't be making much more progress today."

    "I think we've made a great deal of progress," Reimu said. Kasen's face lit up. "You now know why I'm right to feel how I do and why you need to leave me alone." And just like that, Kasen's face froze in shock. "So, do I need to get the fried beans, or are you gonna be leaving on your own?"

    "I can leave on my own well enough," Kasen said.

    "Good, you do that then," Reimu said, staring at Kasen.

    Kasen turned around, trusting Reimu at least not to attack someone who was leaving anyway, and took flight.

    When Kasen was far enough for Reimu to barely see, she sat back down in her shrine's entrance-way, staring at the shrinking dot that was an unwelcome guest, thinking about what was said.

     _Well, at least she knows now. Maybe she'll bother me less._

    * * *

    The moon, while not full, was bright out.

    (A deer runs through the forest)

    Little of that matters beneath the forest canopy, where only silhouettes could be seen.

    (A tiger pounces.)

    It matters even less to predators who hunted with other senses, like the tiger eager to dine on its recently-killed deer.

    Or to Kasen, whose night vision was good enough to quickly and precisely skin the body.

    The tiger, Houso, waited as Kasen knelt down, cut down the belly with her knife, then down each leg, then pulled off the skin. Only when the meat was exposed did Houso sink her teeth into the deer's belly and eat. Kasen cut off a strip from between the ribs and popped it in her mouth, savoring the warm, juicy flesh.

    “Y'know, I should really get a camera for this,” said a familiar, friendly, and unwelcome voice.

    Kasen turned to Komachi, looking her in the eye. “Houso must eat meat, the deer must flee or be eaten, and I must acquire money to interact with civilization,” Kasen said. “I'll complete the skinning once I use it to carry back home the eaten carcass. The bones will be boiled into soup and then sold to a trinket-carver.”

    “You sure you can't carve them yourself,” Komachi said, her grin widening.

    “Time I spend carving is time I can't spend in other activities,” Kasen said, still maintaining eye contact. “The same can be said for the deerskin.”

    “And I thought it was because oni preferred furs,” Komachi said, just before laughing.

    Kasen frowned. “If you don't have any real business with me then I'd like you to leave,” she said.

    Komachi calmed down. “Fussy, fussy...” she said. “Anyway, I've got three lines of advice for you. One, you should appreciate irony once in a while. Two,” Komachi said as she reached down her dress, pulling out an apple, “you should eat healthier. Even lean meat's fatty, and that isn't even cooked.” Kasen's impatience was visible as she waited for Komachi to finish. “Three,” she said as she gently lobbed the apple to Kasen, who easily caught it in one hand, “you'll want something to keep you occupied while Boss lectures at ya. Lemme go get her...”

    Kasen was stunned as Komachi teleported away, then regained her composure just in time for her to return with Eiki.

    Kasen gave a kneeling bow at the Yama's arrival.  Even Houso ceased its feeding to look on quietly.

    “Your formality is appreciated, Kasen Ibaraki,” Eiki said, “but you needn't feel the need to prostrate,” Kasen rose back up to kneeling at that, “I am simply here to offer council. I would also like to apologize for my subordinate's rudeness,” she said, giving a harsh look up at Komachi.

    “I was just telling her to eat better,” Komachi said with false innocence, “same thing I've been telling you.”

    Eiki Shiki, Yama of Xanadu, did not take the bait; mentioning her taste for fair trade snickerdoodles would undermine the gravitas of the situation.

    Eiki turned back to Kasen. “Kasen Ibaraki, please stand,” she said, to which Kasen obeyed, “I do not wish to talk down to those I advise.”

    “You _could_ just shrink again,” Komachi said, looking down at Eiki's modified height.

    Eiki glared up at Komachi again. “Please be quiet, Komachi, this is not the place for your silliness,” she said, before turning back to Kasen. Komachi just rolled up her eyes, stretched open her shinigami jaws, popped in her whole apple-

     **crrnnch**

    -and began to chew.

    Ignoring Komachi's relatively quiet antics, on account that they'd prevent any more commentary, Eiki spoke. “Kasen Ibaraki, we have been watching your attempts to improve Reimu Hakurei's morality. While I have judged your intentions as moral, I have deemed your methods as selfish.” Kasen nodded obediently at that but said nothing.

    Komachi wouldn't have made a jab about irony even if she weren't busy with her apple: she knew better than to interrupt Eiki's sermons, and the thought of someone actually humbly listening to one was mildly amusing.

    “Your first sin is believing that your way of self-improvement is the only way for the amoral to better their karma, ignoring the diversity of Heavenly order.

    “Your second sin valuing order over justice, as order without justice only perpetuates a sinful world.

    “Your third sin is a lack of empathy for Reimu Hakurei's desires and values, arrogantly assuming that hers had none.

    “Your fourth sin is in singling Reimu Hakurei out for frequent criticism, when there are several others in Gensokyo who would benefit the world were they more moral.

    “Your fifth, and by no means least, sin is hypocrisy, believing yourself selfless when you act just as selfish as Reimu Hakurei.” Kasen's eyes widened in Shock. “Kasen Ibaraki, how do you plead?”

    Kasen looked down a bit. “If the Revered Yama's judgement is that I sinned then I will accept it and work to improve myself,” she said. “Please tell me what I must do.”

    Eiki took a breath, then spoke. “First, understand that your acceptance of authority is rare in the extreme, and even you would disobey me were you to believe I acted against your interests. Reimu Hakurei's interest is to be justly compensated for her work in bringing peace to Gensokyo. Even though she should seek to serve her role regardless of reward, it is wrong that those she most directly benefited have demonstrated no thanks to her. Yet you disregard this injustice and instead obsess on making her into your ideal.”

    Eiki waited for Kasen to respond. Kasen only nodded.

    Eiki kept her gaze level. “Do you have no defense or explanation for your actions, Kasen Ibaraki?” she said.

    “I accept your judgement, Revered Yama, and wait to hear out the rest,” Kasen said.

    Eiki sighed. “Kasen Ibaraki, I am intending this to be a dialog so that I may better understand your reasoning.”

    Kasen bowed. “I deeply apologize, Revered Yama, and will not presume to know more than you in the future,” Kasen said. “As to the reason for my sins, the Hakurei bloodline is what preserves the balance of human and youkai in Gensokyo, yet Reimu sees her spiritual strength as a personal commodity rather than a communal duty. Her importance to the realm and her disrespectful attitude are why I singled her out. What next is there to my penance, Revered Yama?”

     _I've been around sinners for so long that I find this obeisance...worrisome,_ Eiki thought. She could hear another **crrnnch** as Komachi ate another apple whole, ideally as an alternative to being insufferably smug – which would come later, unfortunately.

    Eiki took a breath and spoke again. “Second, since we both agree that tangible appreciation of Reimu Hakurei objective good is just, and that you genuinely want to help her, then it would be best if you encourage people to donate to her.” Kasen tried not to wince. “I see you fear this would abet Reimu Hakurei's sins, and can understand that it is offensive to accommodate her sense of entitlement. While her sentiment is sinful, it is ironically true that she _is_ entitled to tangible appreciation from both human and youkai, for many owe their lives to the Spell Card Rules. What say you to that?”

    “I humbly ask that you let me think for a moment, Revered Yama,” Kasen said. Eiki nodded, and Kasen took several moments to properly respond.

    “Revered Yama,” Kasen said, “I can only think to talk to others in a social setting about the importance of gratitude toward the creator of the Spell Card Rules. I will do so, but I welcome other suggestions as well. Also, I suspect that everyone will become suspicious of my different actions. What should I tell them when they ask?”

    “Simply that I lectured you,” Eiki said.

    “Won't that compel them to donate out of fear instead?”

    “Then tell them that you changed on account of being confronted with the logic of the situation,” Eiki said; “you will speak the truth even while omitting my presence.”

    Kasen nodded. “Have you any more penance for me, Revered Yama?” she said.

    “Indeed. Kasen Ibaraki, it is clear that Reimu Hakurei will simply not listen to you. However, others will listen to you and she will listen to others. From now until you care about Reimu Hakurei as a person, you are to talk to her in only the most social manner, assuming she permits you to do so.” Kasen's shock was visible. “You will, however, still be permitted to discuss your interest in helping her with other parties. I suggest her nascent lover and the matriarch of Myourenji to begin with.”

    There was a long silence.

    “What say you to this?” Eiki said.

    “Reimu prefers men,” Kasen dumbly said.

    Eiki let herself smile a bit. “That's a matter for magicians and alchemists to solve, not hermits and yamas. Which reminds me; as a favor, not a penance, would you be willing to ask the matriarch of Eientei to be more proactive?”

**Author's Note:**

> Where does Kasen get off talking down to Reimu? I offer a guess here, and do my best to not make Kasen unsympathetic.
> 
> Also, I get rather headcanon-y.
> 
> I can't help but feel that the ending was too pat, like this fic would work more as the first chapter to something else. However, I'm mainly worried that I was improperly or not descriptive enough. I think I may have used "X said" too much, but I mustn't violate the said bookism taboo!
> 
> Thoughts? I really would like to polish this first fic.


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